Cutetropolis is brought to you today by the makers of Big Loaf Bread™, the only bread that snores. Every Big Loaf has our exclusive Freshness Tongue — when it’s pink, it’s peak!

Just a salad for me, Andrew Y.

Enemy agents are watching, so I must be brief. At exactly 3:33 tomorrow, you will approach our operative under the Eiffel Tower and attempt to tell a knock-knock joke. He will furnish you with a forged passport and one-way ticket. Once off the train, proceed to the nearest cafe and order a “gooseberry muffin, hold the poppy seeds.” You will be given a plain box containing an orb. You must bring this to the leader of the resistance, a man known only as The Tongue.