“But, Moooo-ooom, why can’t I have my own phone? All the other kids at school have their own phones and if I don’t have my own phone I’ll be so embarrassed that I’ll just die so you have to give me my own phone! (Fine, I’ll just steal yours.)”
Do you have problems remembering little things, like a phone number, or that really clever idea? Then you need Brain Freeze™, the ice cream formulated with super sciencey brain chemicals that “lock” ideas in your head until you can find a piece of paper and write them down. Available in chocolate and vanilla and also chocolate.
It’s a shame it doesn’t come in chocolate, Sharon H.
And finally: And a Beaver Shall Lead Them
On the plains of Saskatchewan, 150 cows decided to follow a beaver, because seriously they’re cows and what else is there to do? Right, Michelle P., Andrew Y. and Sharon H.?
If public speaking makes you nervous, leading experts recommend this method to counter stage fright. Simply imagine your audience is all dogs, and then you will speak more confidently, saying things like “Who increased exports to Latin America twelve percent over the last fiscal year? Was it the spare parts division? Was it the sparey-warey partsy-wartsy-poo division? Yes it was! Yes… it… was!”