Gentle readers, I regret that I must momentarily deviate from the usual regimen of cute pictures and humorous japes to discuss a serious matter. Until now, I had assumed that the use of animal performers was on the wane. Circuses had retired their lions and elephants, and local TV stations had abandoned the traditional “weather monkey” in favor of human meteorologists.
But now there is a new stain upon show business: Bear mimes. Innocent baby bears, trained to wear white greasepaint and amuse small crowds. (The photo below shows two performers applying their makeup before a performance, denied even the dignity of makeup sponges.) These innocent animals are often forced to sit in cramped invisible boxes, or struggle vainly against harsh imaginary winds.
Please help end this practice. Send your contribution to Stop Bear Mimes, Attn: I. May Sucker, c/o General Delivery, Pig Whistle TX.
So sad. When will we stop using animals for cheap entertainment? (Um, this site is still free, right?)
Left bear has a much cleaner line on his makeup. He should probably give right bear a few tips.
On a side note, the name “I. May” made me laugh…my grandmother’s name was Ida May. 🙂
Don’t laugh…this is a beary serious matter!
Brought to you by the same people that gave you the talking Marcel Marceau statue.
And remember, a mime is a terrible thing to waste.
Mime is money!
This is what these poor babies have to look forward to. Save them from the indignities of horizontal stripes and bearets! Donate today!
Bear Mime Memes. That’s a thing now? Yes!
I plunge my face into cheesecake. Does that count?
OK, I admit, I almost fell for it, until Mike got to the “weather monkey” part. Need more coffee
“Nobody deserves mime, Buffy.”–Oz
“denied even the dignity of makeup sponges”!!!
Sometimes, I wish there was a way to highlight the best text in your posts.
Interesting that you should bring that up. The blogging platform known as Medium allows user/readers to highlight key passages and share them quickly. (This site runs on WordPress, which doesn’t have that ability.)
That is actually a very cool feature, especially if you are an author. If you are an analytical type, it would help you hone in on what your readers respond to.
This is one of those perfect scrolldown posts.
I have really needed some tutorial on applying make-up, and these bears seem to have found a unique way of doing it. It looks a lot less time-consuming than I expected, so I no longer need to walk bearfaced!
They tried first with raccoons. It did not go well.
Love how he comes up for air!
“There’s gotta be a better way…maybe use these ‘hand’ thingies I have? Nah, someone would have come up with that already…”
Fortunately the results are charming – otherwise they’d feel em-bear-assed!
?
Even cuter than Stieffs. Didn’t think that was possible.