“Now then, Mr. Woofles, while this procedure is completely safe and routine, it will be necessary to leash you to my chair. This is for your own protection in the event of spontaneous levitation that occurs in rare cases. Also, the combination of anesthetics and stimulants you’ll be receiving have been known to cause Helicopter Tail Syndrome, in which event we will need to induce yodeling. Until all the brain implants are inserted, you may temporarily believe you are a giraffe, or the captain of the HMS Dorsetshire during the Battle of Málaga in 1704. This is normal. Now, I seem to have misplaced my drill, so if you will just wait here…”
Do they make those implants for humans, Sharon H.?
You can’t keep a good boy down.
I’ve seen this happen with children due to an insufficient child:dog mass ratio and an unexpected squirrel.
INSTANT SLED!
That happened to me but it was another dog, not a squirrel…and it was a Miniature Schnauzer vs my 9-year-old self. My 9-year-old face went into the pavement (I was somehow relatively uninjured).
———
I think this doggo’s person failed physics…
Or they got out of their chair.
Or they didn’t get out of the chair and doggo is *real* motivated.
Poor thing. Musta been so scary for that doggo.
My 65 lb. dog once dragged my 186 lb. father, who was sitting in a lawn chair, a few feet because I was leaving the area without her.
RUN AWAY !!!
(Nay ,. she/he just watched the Iditarod on TV and watched to give it a try)
Hey Joe! Is that your dog on CNN?
I have never voted down on this site before and hate to introduce any negativity. But a dog running loose is not funny.
I’m in the rescue business, and too many times I have been desperately trying to contain a dog running loose, calling out to bystanders “Stop that dog! Grab his leash!” (in cases where the leash is trailing behind, such as in this photo) only to have them stand staring, dumbfounded, and make no move to so much as block the sidewalk while the dog runs by – which is understandable and I wouldn’t want anybody to endanger themselves – but too many times, worse yet, they *laugh* because they think it’s funny to see a person trying to catch a dog. Meanwhile the dog’s owner is going out of their mind with grief and worry, and people in cars are at risk of hitting the dog and each other in the confusion. There’s even some stupid commercial running on tv right now where a dog breaks away from its owner and runs across and bridge and the owner and the love interest chase after the dog laughing merrily along the way because this is their Meet Cute for whatever drug is being advertised.
A dog running loose is not funny. It is a matter of life and death for the dog, its family, and anyone driving a car in the vicinity. Please NTMTOM, I love you, your brilliant work, and this site you have created dearly. I’m one of your supporters and devoted fans. Please don’t perpetuate this stereotype.
I hope this dog got home safely.
I hope so, too. I understand exactly where you’re coming from. It’s no joke at all when dogs run loose and nobody helps. It’s the stuff of nightmares.
At the same time, I appreciate Mike’s wordsmithing (wordsmithery?) as always.
Thanks for understanding.
I was once in a crowded park (to hear then-Senator Obama speak), when I saw a dachsund with trailing leash running in my direction. I immediately went down on one knee and called to the dog, which ran right into my arms. I just picked her up and waited, knowing someone would be trying to catch her. I felt like a hero when her breathless owners retrieved her. 🙂
Yup, and I bet they treated you like a hero too! 🙂 It’s the dog owners and dog lovers like you out there who instinctively do the right thing and take action to save the dog. People who know that a dog running loose needs to be saved, not laughed at.
Now this is bad, I’m so used to Mike making up various facts that I actually googled to see if there was a HMS Dorsetshire and if it was in the battle of Malaga (and even if there was a battle of Malaga in 1704). All true on all accounts.
But I digress, pupster is adorable and if said Dr. was planning on doing all that to me then I’d be out the door too. I had a dog like this one that would try to pull me down the street (her 75 very strong lbs vs my 140 lbs). Everyone said walking the dog would be easier if I had on roller skates, lol. Here is picture of said dragster – she had 2 speeds, flat out or couch potato.
This scenario happened to my dog, Rudy, a corgi. We walked to the bakery and I attached his leash to one of the chairs on the patio. I’d done that many times before. But this time, the plastic chair tipped over scaring Rudy. So he moved, and the chair followed, making a racket, which scared him further. He ran dragging the chair. Thank heavens he ran in the direction opposite the street! I’d hate to think what could have happened. Grief-induced yodeling, probably.
I’ll never do that again!
Love the story!