Breaking News: Humans have made first contact with alien beings from beyond our solar system! The creatures are believed to be from the planet Cassowaria, five thousand light-years from Earth. Speaking to reporters, a spokescreature said that they had been observing our planet for many centuries but were ending their research and returning home because “we’re just very, very disappointed in you.”
You do *not* want a cassowary to disapprove of you. They have a claw on their second toe that grows up to 5 inches long and their main defense is kicking.
Yeah, big birds are scary.
https://dangerousminds.net/comments/how_johnny_cash_was_nearly_killed_by_an_ostrich_in_1981
Ahem, those aren’t mix tapes, they’re “historical documents.”
🙂
Can we go with you? Things have gotten weird on this planet.
Those eyelashes!
My bags are packed.
I’ve been ready for years. Worse lately.
Just give him a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster … All problems solved
I want to know what kind of mascara she uses.
Wait, wha…?
Someone please explain to the Duckie who is woefully ignorant.
Cassowaries are flightless birds native to New Guiniea. They’re a bit smaller than an emu. They have a reputation for being much grumpier than their larger cousins, and less prone to responding to danger by running in frantic circles. People get injured on the regular, but there’s only one documented case of anyone dying.
And the “historical documents”?
Delayed response. Just got back inside after the fire alarm went off. Bleeping renovators in one unit did something irresponsible and set off the alarm. Not a pretty sight. A bunch of people “of a certain age” all standing around in their jammies and undone hair, wondering what happened.
The picture is a reference to the comedy movie “Galaxy Quest,” about space aliens who are convinced that a TV sci-fi series is actual Earth history, referring to the episodes as “historical documents.” An uproariously funny film, highly recommended.
Ahhh…
Thank you
I have actually seen that one and it is hilarious. A question – isn’t the guy who plays the chief alien the same actor who plays Moriarty in the Cumberbatch Sherlock Holmes series?
And I don’t blame the Aliens for being disappointed in us.
Nope. Moriarty was: Andrew Scott (born 21 October 1976) is an Irish film, television, and stage actor. In 2010, he achieved widespread recognition playing the role of Jim Moriarty in the BBC series Sherlock, a dramatic role which continued until 2017. In 2017
Galaxy Quest actor was: Enrico Colantoni is a Canadian actor.
Thank you, Faye – they looked enough alike to me to speculate they might be the same.
What do you mean “thought they were Historical Documents?” They are aren’t they!?
Galaxy Quest=One of my top ten movie favorites.
Other fave: Sean Of The Dead! Best zombie spoof.
Classic monologue by Jim Moran “Never pucker the wattles of a cassowary”
listenmusicfm.net/…/Never-Pucker-the-Wattles-of-a-Cassowary-by-Jim-Moran-with-ly…
Not sure link will work, but Canadians of a certain age will remember it from Gilmour’s Albums Volume II which is on line.
Oh, cool, another great phrase to go along with “Incubate a Sprinkler” – “Wouldn’t THAT just pucker the wattles of a Cassowary!”
Murray!!
?????????
“Doesn’t THAT just pucker your wattles!”
New favourite saying.
Very Avian expression. Just right for use by a Duckie.
?
I like your pithier, pared down version.
Or it works as a put-down if someone asks you to do something unpleasant. E.g. “I’d sooner pucker the wattles of a cassowary”.
If that is not a leftover feathered dinosaur nothing is. And it’s pissed.
I see casting for the third Guardians of the Galaxy movie has started.