Pin the Tail on the Doggie

Detective work can be sweet: Exotic travel, a fat expense account, and plenty of dames who want to scratch behind my ears. But Death wants a scratch too, and right now I could feel his bony fingers around my neck. The sedan kept its distance, trying not to be noticed, but this nose can smell a shadow a mile away. My Sunday drive on Easy Street had just taken a turn for the worse, and if I couldn’t shake these gorillas the next bones I’d bury would be my own.

I shifted the car into zoomies and hit the gas…

Another action-packed submission from the case files of Sharon H.!

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32 thoughts on “Pin the Tail on the Doggie

  1. allein ? August 9, 2018 / 8:33 am

    Okay, my car has a “sport” mode for when you need a little extra power (I usually keep it on “eco” to maximize my gas mileage)…I’m going to start calling it zoomies mode.

    • Juno August 9, 2018 / 10:18 am

      Seems like the thing to do.

  2. MyIglets August 9, 2018 / 8:58 am

    I just re-affirmed to myself that the reason I keep coming back is to read the captions. A. Mazing.

    • N. Fritz August 9, 2018 / 9:01 am

      Myiglets, I agree! This is truly one on Mike’s best installments!

      • Juno August 9, 2018 / 10:21 am

        I’ll third that. Great paragraph. We must keep hounding (you see what I did there) NOMTOM for a book.

        • fkaWaldenPond January 25, 2019 / 10:46 pm

          Back here again! 😀

  3. AJ August 9, 2018 / 9:02 am

    Don’t forget if he was driving a Tesla, he could shift it into Ludicrous Mode.

    Love the look on doggie’s face, he must be in deep doo doo with the guys following him. And thank you Mike for bringing to mind a story noir/hard boiled fiction a la Raymond Chandler or Dashiell Hammett. Always liked a good detective novel. I wonder who’ll play him in the movies – maybe Bogart?

    • Ricky's Mom August 9, 2018 / 9:06 am

      Humpy Dogart.

      • N. Fritz August 9, 2018 / 9:12 am

        Ha, ha, ha!!! Good one, Ricky’s Mom! But seriously, this chien noir (sorry if I butchered the French) could be a regular feature – hint, hint, NTMTOM!

      • AJ August 9, 2018 / 9:36 am

        You guys are killing me with the riffs on actor/actress names!!! So what would it be called – maybe The Big Sniff, The Maltese Dog, or the best title ever for a canine detective story, Poodle Springs.

        • allein ? August 9, 2018 / 9:41 am

          When I was 14 my best friend and I spent two weeks over the summer with her grandparents in Pennsylvania. They came to NJ for a few days and then took us home with them. On the way we listened to The Maltese Falcon.

        • allein ? August 9, 2018 / 9:47 am

          I don’t know if it’s “noir” (it’s mystery, at least), but there’s a book called Metzger’s Dog by Thomas Perry. (Which extra-amuses me because my mom’s maiden name is Metzger.)

          • Patty August 9, 2018 / 2:44 pm

            My ex husband’s name was Metzger. Then his step father “adopted” the whole family (husband, me, our baby, BIL and SIL) and everyone took his name. It was actually a legal name change, since we were all adults.

            • allein ? August 9, 2018 / 3:20 pm

              🙂

        • Ricky's Mom August 9, 2018 / 9:53 am

          When I adopted Ricky (a Maltese), my brother told me I should change his name to Falcon. Fortunately I love my brother, or that would have made me cross.

          • benvolio August 9, 2018 / 5:56 pm

            I see what you did there.

          • debg August 9, 2018 / 11:19 pm

            Now I want a Maltese named Falcon! That would totally rock!

            • Murray C August 10, 2018 / 6:07 pm

              Or a falcon named Maltese!

      • dubravkamcvmd August 9, 2018 / 9:39 am

        Wow! You’re on a roll, Allein!

        • allein ? August 9, 2018 / 9:44 am

          The “50 Film Noir Actors” list on IMDB was quite helpful. (Because other than Bogart, I got nuthin’ on my own, and Ricky’s Mom already beat me to Dogart.)

          (Joan Crawford is always Mommie Dearest in my mind, not film noir. 😉 No wire hangers!!)

      • Ricky's Mom August 9, 2018 / 9:51 am

        I just came back to post Dick Howl, but you have beaten me to it, and then some. Alan Lab is genius.

        • allein ? August 9, 2018 / 10:08 am

          Then I guess we’re even. 😉

      • Wuyizidi August 9, 2018 / 1:18 pm

        Directed by Otto Pominger?

        • allein ? August 9, 2018 / 1:37 pm

          😀

  4. Alice Shortcake August 9, 2018 / 9:47 am

    Objects In Mirror Are More Slobbery Than They Appear

    • Kar August 9, 2018 / 1:12 pm

      That was my immediate response. Dang that’s a lot of slobber on that car door, but looking at it closer, it’s the reflection of the trees.

  5. Smartypants August 9, 2018 / 9:56 am

    So this is what happened when McGruff quit his police job…

  6. Shan August 9, 2018 / 10:03 am

    Nick Charles as the “Canine Detective” Film Noir 🙂

  7. AB August 9, 2018 / 11:05 am

    Loved this post! In case anyone is unaware, there’s actually a wonderful dog detective series by Spencer Quinn (Chet and Bernie mysteries). It’s my second favorite comedy detective series after the Steve Hockensmith cowboy detective books. Both series have especially awesome audio versions.

    • dubravkamcvmd August 9, 2018 / 11:56 am

      Thanks for the tip! Will check it out.

    • Ricky's Mom August 9, 2018 / 12:32 pm

      Oh, I loved those Hockensmith books! Haven’t read them in years.

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