A Message from the Department of Wish Fulfillment

Every year, our offices field hundreds of complaints from dissatisfied people whose wishes did not turn out as anticipated, whether granted by fortune cookies, genies, talking fish, Zoltar machines, etc. We remind the public that while the ethereal forces of the spirit world can grant wishes, they’re not mind readers. Please phrase all wishes using concrete, specific language to avoid mishaps. For example, wishes for romantic partners should specify age, height, employment status, and species.

Actually, this is fine, thanks. (Imgur)

I hear he’s loaded with bread, Andrew Y.

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17 thoughts on “A Message from the Department of Wish Fulfillment

  1. allein ? October 9, 2018 / 12:07 pm

    Just ducky. I’m sure it’ll all go swimmingly and you will live quackily ever after.

  2. MurrayC October 9, 2018 / 12:13 pm

    This keeps getting funnier the longer I look at it. He can feather my nest any day.

  3. AJ October 9, 2018 / 12:27 pm

    AFLAC!!

  4. Juno October 9, 2018 / 1:37 pm

    In addition to being specific, etc., be sure you also enunciate very clearly. After all, you wouldn’t want to be like the guy who ended up with a 12-inch pianist.

    • Duckie ? October 9, 2018 / 1:55 pm

      Do you have any idea how difficult it is to snerk through a beak?
      Especially while rofling?

    • Faye October 9, 2018 / 3:24 pm

      What’s wrong? At least he can still play around.

      • Juno October 9, 2018 / 4:36 pm

        You all are worse than I am!! 😉

        • fkaWaldenPond October 9, 2018 / 5:59 pm

          and I am, full on giggling.

      • Faye October 9, 2018 / 10:52 pm

        ?

    • ^oo^ October 10, 2018 / 1:51 am

      Just be sure you’ve made a date with the right Donald.

    • Smartypants October 13, 2018 / 9:06 pm

      “I said a RICH doctor!”

  5. Luv Bunny October 9, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    ?? I needed that laugh. If I ever need another “ love of my life” (I’m happy with the one I have), the animal kind would be the way to go.

    • AJ October 9, 2018 / 2:53 pm

      I don’t know about that. You could end up with a real dog of a fellow, or one that’s not quite purrfect for you. Also you may bearly stand him after a few years and he’ll fly the coop.

      (I could go on and on and on ….)

  6. Faye October 9, 2018 / 3:24 pm

    Viaduct?

    • murkle46 October 9, 2018 / 4:33 pm

      Because he’s not a chicken?

  7. Alice Shortcake October 9, 2018 / 6:03 pm

    I’m reminded of that classic song “I’m in the Mood For Love, But I’ll Settle For Chocolate”.

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