The Amherst Unpleasantness

“Thank you for coming so quickly, Professor Hamshock,” said Davenport as he welcomed the old man into the foyer. “Some local fishermen found it in their catch this morning, and I had my men bring it into the basement.”

He unlocked the door, and the two men proceeded downstairs. “If it’s as you described it,” said the Professor, “then it could explain the inscriptions we saw in the Temple of Zarakoom. I only hope it hasn’t thawed before we can–”

But it was too late. Writhing on the table before them was an unearthly demon hissing at them. “I have awakened! The time of the Reapening is at hand!” The two men stared in horror, transfixed by the gaze of Bogg-Schlamiel, Harvester of Souls.

Oh, the two of you are *so* cursed right now.

That sink must have been clogged for days, John B. (more cats in sinks here.)

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19 thoughts on “The Amherst Unpleasantness

  1. michael January 15, 2019 / 8:10 am

    Lovecraft owned a cat.

    This explains a lot.

    • Smartypants January 15, 2019 / 5:34 pm

      Yes, and I was surprised that in some of his writing he’s very cat-positive – there’s one of his works, I think one of the epic poems, where the narrator is helped by an army of warrior cats, who at one point fly away carrying him.

  2. Gigi the cat lady January 15, 2019 / 8:10 am

    Thank you for a much needed belly laugh this morning.

    • AJ January 15, 2019 / 9:06 am

      Agreed!! With the scroll down I knew it was going to be good but I didn’t know how good it would actually be. Perfection from beginning to end!!! Thank you Mike!!

      Those eyes mean divine retribution will be unleashed and probably very shortly.

      P.S. Anyone else get a Vincent Price horror movie vibe from today’s post??? I think he’d be good in either role.

  3. allein ? January 15, 2019 / 8:23 am

    Wait, is that pronounced Hams-hock or Ham-shock?

      • allein ? January 15, 2019 / 9:38 am

        😛

      • Juno January 15, 2019 / 9:57 am

        Thank God you lightened it up with the inclusion of “schlamiel”–otherwise I’d be too terrified to go on.

        • Ricky's Mom January 15, 2019 / 10:17 am

          I’m still enjoying “Reapening.”

  4. Blue Footed Booby January 15, 2019 / 8:32 am

    I’d long wondered what the cat version of the Innsmouth Look looks like. Good grief.

  5. dubravkamcvmd January 15, 2019 / 8:45 am

    The Destructo-Rays coming from the eyes! I would not be taking that Overlord home so fast. Bathing seems inadvisable – unless the fur was covered in poisonous chemicals I would just LEAVE IT ALONE!

  6. Luv Bunny January 15, 2019 / 9:23 am

    ? I don’t know if I can run away fast enough. Oh, Harvester of Souls, forgive the hoomins, they don’t know any better and they will dry you and treat you to all the pampering you desire.

  7. Kar January 15, 2019 / 9:58 am

    Ummm. Guys?

    The demon is about to pounce on some poor soul and absorb his soul. Or burn away his chi with his laser eyes.

  8. tara January 15, 2019 / 10:37 am

    oh oh oh! Poor kitty! I don’t think any more evil could shoot out of those eyes.
    Someone is going to be in big trouble.

  9. CrookedFingerLeFay January 15, 2019 / 10:42 am

    Bogg-Schlamiel! I love it!

  10. tagathax January 15, 2019 / 11:55 am

    I think I’d rather take my chance with Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

  11. Debg January 15, 2019 / 3:37 pm

    Poor baby. I’ll cuddle you in towels until you’re floofy again. Let me put on my armor first.

  12. Rhea January 15, 2019 / 10:02 pm

    A friend will calm you down when you’re angry.

    A good friend will skip alongside you swinging a baseball bat and singing, “Someone’s gonna get it….”

Comments are closed.