Dog Assembly Instructions

Congratulations on your new dog! Just follow these simple steps, and your new best friend will be ready to play!

  1. Attach antenna mandibles to central torso unit;
  2. Attach floppy kickers to rear of central torso unit;
  3. Connect sensory collection unit to floppy kickers;
  4. Attach floofy waggenater.

When properly assembled, your new dog should look like this:

Dog sleeps in strange position
Why does my face want to sit down? (Reddit)

Time to call the customer helpline, Andrew Y.

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16 thoughts on “Dog Assembly Instructions

  1. allein 🐾 January 21, 2022 / 1:04 pm

    Uhhh…this doesn’t look right…

  2. Sedro6 January 21, 2022 / 1:15 pm

    I think the directions were translated (poorly] from a foreign language.

    • allein 🐾 January 21, 2022 / 1:37 pm

      Maybe they did that google translate where you go from English to another language and back to English to see what comes out.

      • Ricky & Bibi's Mom January 21, 2022 / 1:46 pm

        Malinda Kathleen Reese has an entire YouTube channel devoted to putting English through several different languages via Google translate, and recording the result when translated back to English. If you need a good laugh and like good singing, I highly recommend you check it out. Here’s just one example:




        • allein 🐾 January 21, 2022 / 1:52 pm

          I will have to save that for when I get home but it looks like fun!

        • Ricky & Bibi's Mom January 21, 2022 / 1:55 pm

          ^ That’s not her funniest one by a long chalk, but it certainly shows off her musicianship. She did two songs from Hamilton that had me laughing so hard there really were tears coming from my eyes.

          • Catwhisperer January 21, 2022 / 4:39 pm

            Minute 2:23 >D

        • Duckie 🐥 January 21, 2022 / 7:10 pm

          Thanks, R&B’s Mom. I just spent two hours going through all her videos. I have lost over 130 minutes, and have a huge laugh headache, but I would gladly repeat the experience.

          • Ricky & Bibi's Mom January 21, 2022 / 7:45 pm

            I’m so glad I’m not the only one who loves her stuff. She even has an IKEA instruction video … which probably explains our doggo fren above.




  3. Luv Bunny January 21, 2022 / 1:24 pm

    I think it was someone who didn’t read or correctly follow the instructions. Perhaps the dog can still be properly assembled.

  4. Dana January 21, 2022 / 1:28 pm

    This gives new meaning to the phrase “they doesn’t know their a$$ from their elbow “. And, neither do we!

  5. Georgiana January 21, 2022 / 1:34 pm

    That’s what it would look like if I bought a dog from IKEA!

  6. Dulcie January 21, 2022 / 1:44 pm

    “Floofy waggenator” should still be able to operate.

  7. AJ January 21, 2022 / 3:14 pm

    Pretzel dog strikes again!! I always wondered how comfortable are some of the positions dogs (and cats!) get themselves into. This looks like the usual end result when I try to assemble something.

  8. debg January 21, 2022 / 4:26 pm

    Maybe I should start writing our assembly manuals like that!

    R&B’s Mom, just a few seconds of Bohemian Rhapsody had me howling. I’ll save the whole video for later, when I need a good belly laugh.

    Also puppers looks very cute, if not especially comfortable.

    • Ricky & Bibi's Mom January 21, 2022 / 4:48 pm

      Twisted Translations (its current name, it’s been through a few) is one of the channels that helped me get through that first, worst year of sheltering at home.

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