It has come to our attention that the Earth’s center of gravity has shifted slightly out of alignment. Happily the effect is barely noticable and should be corrected soon.
I can’t stop tilting my phone, Andrew Y.
Memo from Planetary Maintenance
Memo from Planetary Maintenance
What, you think nature just happens?
Memo From Planetary Maintenance
Due to a software update, all creatures in the marsupials class may become temporarily inoperable. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.
Memo from Planetary Maintenance
Due to an error in horizontal constraint controls, certain breeds of dog may become unnaturally elongated. Rest assured that this is a temporary condition and will be corrected shortly. However, affected organisms are advised to avoid activity and lie down where there is sufficient room.
Memo from Planetary Maintenance
Due to scheduled maintenance, gravity will be briefly deactivated sometime between 2 and 2:30 AM tomorrow. All residents are advised to remain indoors, preferably under bedsheets or similar restraints.
