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I’d make a “cold turkey” joke, Sharon H., but he ate that too.
It’s time to say hello to another pet from one of our fine Cutetropolitans, and today Shannon M. writes: “This is Coco VamPoodle, she has something to talk to me about.”
Indeed, that is a “we need to talk” expression of concern if ever there was one. What could be on Coco’s mind? Food portions? Walkies schedule? How she keeps blending into the furniture?
The most difficult and closely guarded secret in all of dog sorcery is the creation of the canuscaton, sometimes known as the “poodle golem.” This powerful and obedient servant formed from fur clippings can be brought to life only under strict conditions. The acolytes must gather before the clippings wearing the sacred amulets of their sect. They must then chant in unison “canem crescere faciam” a total of nine times: Three times forward, three times backwards, and three times in high-pitched clown voices. All must focus their full mystic energies onto the creature; if there is even one who doubts, the incantation will fail.
It’s a poodle! It’s a poodle, Sharon H.!
“(Did my human ask me here to get a bath, or to play jacks? On the one hand, my jacks are here, and that is good. On the other hand, the bathtub is here, and it is full of sea monsters, and that is bad. My human is so difficult to read sometimes, I just can’t tell…)”
It’s Darc the Poodle, from Katelyn C.