Enemy agents are watching, so I must be brief. At exactly 3:33 tomorrow, you will approach our operative under the Eiffel Tower and attempt to tell a knock-knock joke. He will furnish you with a forged passport and one-way ticket. Once off the train, proceed to the nearest cafe and order a “gooseberry muffin, hold the poppy seeds.” You will be given a plain box containing an orb. You must bring this to the leader of the resistance, a man known only as The Tongue.

“Oh, you think you can get past me? Try it, pal, you’ll get such a licking! Yeah, bring your friends, I’ll lick ’em all!”