Surprising as it may sound, the evil laugh can often be the most disarming tool in the evil villain’s arsenal. It can inspire minions to fanatical levels of devotion and also demoralize handsome enemy agents so that they accept the futility of their feeble attempts to thwart your plans. The proper evil laugh has many parts:
- Laugh: Begin with an innocent chuckle, as if savoring a private joke. As the inevitability of victory becomes clear to you, build into a maniacal cackle.
- Pose: During the cackle, lift the head up and gaze into the skies, as if challenging the very gods above. Avoid eye contact with insignificant mortals near you.
- Lighting: An eerie glow from beneath will make you appear more terrifying. Possible sources: Flashlight, table lamp, nuclear reactor.
- Special Effects: If you can manage to shoot lightning bolts from your cheeks and eyebrows, do it. Nobody will mess with you at that point, guaranteed.
cute kitty, by daniellekellogg, licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0
Half a dozen fangs don’t hurt, either.
(Well, they do, but…you know what I mean.)
No kidding, that mouth looks like the inside of a cavern with stalactites and stalagmites everywhere!
Yet you know we’d all still let him gnaw on our fingers.
And lick us with that sandpaper tongue.
And knead us with the other pointy bits.
You guys are so funny! I can just sit back and giggle (maniacal laughter not being appropriate).
And Mike your narratives continue to amaze!
Mike, you’re in rare form today – I’m guessing Ani is much better?
?? : Oh look at the big scary supervilain with schmutz on his nose, come here mama will clean you up.
? No mom! I’m being evil! MOOOM!!
Spitbaff!
I’m sure Mrs. Blofeld would’ve taken over the world, if she weren’t busy trying to keep her son out of mischief…!
After the bite I received on NYE and the resulting tetanus shot and antibiotics, I would most definitely hand over all my tuna immediately. I don’t like tuna anyway.
Here! take it!!
Oh no! So sorry about that, Brouhaha. Tetanus shots hurt like a mother.
You ain’t kiddin’. They prescribed 800mg Ibuprofen, and I really only need it for the tetanus shot site.
Bites can be dangerous. I have a friend that was bitten by her cat who has dementia. She disinfected the bite but it got infected anyway. She’s on strong antibiotics at the moment.
I always thought scratches were worst than bites (because they dig in the litter box) but my vet told me that there is a lot more chances a bite will get infected than a scratch.
Probably because a bit is more of a puncture and harder to clean.
oops, a bite, not a bit.
Yes, exactly. They lectured me for not coming in sooner. All that mouth bacteria and the shape of kitty teeth it just goes in and doesn’t come out. All things considered, I came out lucky. I didn’t need surgery, like some of the cases I found when I did some cat bite googling.
Her nickname “beast” is so fitting now.
Cat scratch fever! (duh duh duuuuuh)
Already posted to Facebook with a message to all my former students. We had a running gag that, in World History to 1500 CE, I was really teaching them the necessary skills for world domination. So they just got another lesson, courtesy of NOMTOM.
My villainous plan is to stuff this little guy in my Mewgaroo hoodie pocket and snorgle him indefinitely! (Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!)
A lady I work with has a tiny mixed breed (maltipoo maybe??) that’s about 5 lbs. She was showing us pictures of the little fluff ball asleep in the hood of her son’s hoodie. I don’t dare put a pix up ’cause I might break the internet, that’s how strong the cute was.
Also, any Ani updates Mike???? Hope radio silence means she’s almost all better.
Nope. The fuzzy neck floof cancels out all the evil. Except the needle-like kitty toofs.
I’m dealing with puppy fangs. Ouch!
I suspect stealthy ankle attacks are on the way, too!
I’ve always been fascinated by the weird itty bitty teeth that kitties have front and center between the fangs. They’re so strange and cute, in an odd way. I think this means I’ve thought about cat teeth far too much.
Those are the only ones my cat Mia has left, she has had problem teeth ever since she was a baby and they all had to come out except those itty bitty ones.
I’d never noticed that before. I googled up some other obligate carnivores, and they generally have small incisors, which makes sense. But wolves and even lions still have much more prominent incisors than housecats. I wonder why.
All hail our new kitten overlord!
If I have a kitten overlord or two, does that make me an underlady?
The lesson came at the best possible time, I had my fair share of evil laughter today:
I caught my “anti-pet but especially anti-cat” brother secretly patting my kitties and playing with them 🙂
Ha! Sounds like my dad, who hates cats. And goes to bed with little miss Stars every night.
🙂 Hatred hasnt gone so far here as to sleep together 🙂 , but I loved how he pretended to be doing something entirely different, the cat just accidentally climbed up into his arms – yeah ofc 🙂
He sleeps on his side, and she’ll get up on his hip, facing the door, like she’s guarding him. She’ll also get up in his lap in the armchair and he’ll give her scritches for as long as she wants. Technically she’s my cat, but he’s definitely always been her person.
So…what are lessons 1 through 11?
…asking for a friend…
Hmmm…perhaps Mike could do a “Supervillain lesson-of-the-month” for the ’18 calendar!
That’s an intriguing thought. Thank you.
Any time! Bwa ha ha… 😀
A lot of guys ignore the laugh, and that’s just about standards.
Thinking the same thing!
Never ignore the laugh. More time to escape. Or pray.
The fuzzy chin and all that pinkness cancels the fear. Although I would certainly avoid those pointy needle-like toofs.