There is a certain dirty bird who lives a life of crime
He frequents Myron’s Deli where he shoplifts all the time
Now, you or I would never steal salami from a store
But a pelican in a deli can, and then comes back for more
He takes unfair advantage of his pelican physique:
That stretchy shopping bag of skin he keeps beneath his beak
Can you pack a pile of prime prosciutto in your pocket?
Well, a pelican in a deli can, and be off like a rocket
He pilfers pepperoni, purloins sirloin, heists the ham
And before Myron can catch him, he flies off on the lam
While we pay cash he’ll dine and dash, and freely eat his fill
Yes, a pelican in a deli can. Just puts it on his bill.
Another dee-lish submish from Sharon H.
*golf clap* ??? Bravo!
Mike, once again, your brilliance STUNS!!!
I know I could never afford to pay this “bill” — nor the one all of us fans owe YOU.
Thank you for another fantastic post.
Brilliant cutetropoetry!
Cutetropoetry! I like it!
I second that liking!
Brilliant composition, Mike!
Tipped you because this is brilliant!
Thank you!
Your poem needs to be set to music – it’s that good!
Yes! The clever inner rhymes remind me of Cole Porter–which is just about the highest compliment I can pay.
Brilliant! One of your very best.
Wow.
You should write a children’s book one day. There’s a famous Canadian poet / author named Dennis Lee who wrote a great poetry book for children back in the 70s called Alligator Pie. I read my copy until it fell apart. So many great poems: “On Tuesdays, I Polish my Uncle” and “Wiggle to the Laundromat”. And who could forget: “Willaby Wallaby Woo”. Honestly, Mike, you have the same whimsical vantage!!!!
I also think this should be a children’s book.
And I’ll third this suggestion!
???? I’m curious how long it takes Mike, to create these clever, witty cutetropoetry* ( *per Emsthemonster). And I wonder what the pelican thinks as it sees and smells the good looking food.
Destined to become a classic!! (And the ad that appeared in the middle of the post here in Austria was for a butcher!)
The ad here in NYC is for Nutrena poultry feeds!
Wow. So good. Thanks for this one.
DH is in a little ‘old-time’ music group, and lately he’s been trying his hand at writing songs (he was NOT an English major), enlisting me (an English major) to help.
We bow before you.
NTMTOM’s best work yet, and that’s saying a lot!
I also left a tip. Great work should be rewarded and appreciated.
Thank you!
NOMTOM, you are too much!!
All of the above, Mike, fabulous.
Reminds me of the pelicans in Mykonos, Greece, that hangs around the back doors of restaurant kitchens.
Brillance, sheer brillance!!! Take a bow Mike, I think this might be your best work to date. Reminds me of a Dr. Seuss tale but so much better.
Leaving aside Mike’s poem, I really would like to know the back story of why and how a pelican came to be in the store.
Bravo! Bravissimo! Bravississimo!
STANDING OVATION!!!
I’m dying of laughter, Mike. I’d propose again but you always say no.
Hello! Thanks to everyone who said nice things about this and/or visited the tip jar. I had a good time writing it and I’m glad you all enjoyed it. To answer a question, it took me about an hour, but the title had been running in my head ever since I saw the photo.
An hour!?! Gulp! I used to write for a living (lawyer/litigation) and an hour is barely time to clear your throat and get settled at your desk and in front of the computer.