Bad Poetry

Hug Your Hippo

Not That Mike The Other Mike10 Comments

When your squeaky toy won’t squeak
When you’ve been stuck inside all week
When the big dog barks and growls
To interrupt your nightly prowls
Your food is bland, your kibble stale
The baby always pulls your tail
Whenever life gets harsh and rough
Just hug your hippo; that’s enough

A sleeping kitten lies on a carpeted floor holding on to a stuffed hippo toy
What would I do without you?

From Imgur: “I rescued Stanley and his hippo today. The shelter said they were a package deal.”

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Tomb it May Concern

Not That Mike The Other Mike7 Comments

In hamlet and village ‘cross many a nation
We find fearless felines in grave situation
Within cemeteries aside ancient churches
Cats congregate in search of cool perches
For a crypt of concrete or a headstone of marble
Makes a soothing retreat to air out the harbles
So let’s hit the boneyard, that is if you’re willing
And enjoy this collection of cats who’re just chilling

in a graveyard, a black cat sits on a grave beneath an antique photograph of a woman. The cat is licking its face with its tongue.
I’m going to miss her. She was delicious.

Milano, Cimitero Monumentale di Milano, by Sven Kapunkt

a striped cat crouches on top of a tall headstone.
I prefer a high-rise, myself.

The cat of the cemetery, by Tambako the Jaguar

in a graveyard, a cat with orange fur sits on one of several tilted tombstones and looks down at the ground.
Wait, did something just move down there?

The Graveyard Cat, Saint Mary's Old Church Graveyard, Stoke Newington, by Loz Flowers, licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

Cemetery Cat, by Andrew Gustar

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It’s Tocktober!

Not That Mike The Other Mike20 Comments

If it’s a bad day, or even a bad week,
There is some comfort you can seek.
To gaze upon a fluffy cheek
Will cheer you up when you feel bleak.

the back end of an alpaca, showing its fluffy light brown tail
And now for something completely different: A llama with three buttocks.

The humble buttock, you will find
Is Nature’s method to remind
Us all to relax and unwind
And never mind if we fall behind.

a dark grey rabbit reclines on its belly with its tail toward you
75% floof, 25% ‘tocks.

And soon, thanks to this tiny twerker
You’re feeling calm and less berzerker.
Just why do ‘tocks make us feel perkier?
Don’t ask me why; I only work ‘ere.

a hand holds a dark grey hamster with its tail facing you.
No need to point out the tail, it points for itself.

From top: LLama 'Tocks !!1!, by Ketzirah & Art, licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0, fluffy tocks, by Jessie Pearl, licensed under CC BY 2.0, stubby tail, little white feet, by robanhk, licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

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Dramatic Squirrel is Dramatic

Not That Mike The Other Mike14 Comments

“Oh, kind traveler, spare a morsel for a poor wretched forest creature such as I! A peanut, perchance, or a cashew or two! I would feast on a filbert, but an almond will do! A pecan or pistachio would please this sad snacker! Or even a walnut (but lend your nutcracker)!”

A squirrel stands on its back legs and reaches up with one outstretched arm
Them suckers is tough.

Sunshine the squirrel is a beggar!, by MBAnimalPics, licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0

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