Like many of you, we members of the flock have grown increasingly concerned about the behavior of our leader, Insane Chicken Man. His rantings have become increasingly volatile, something we could not have foreseen when we went to work for someone named “Insane Chicken Man.”
We believe it is our duty to the farm and society at large to frustrate the impulses of Insane Chicken Man at every turn. Towards that end we have engaged in acts of resistance, such as hiding our eggs in random locations and sending him on an Easter egg hunt; crowing at sunset instead of sunrise to disrupt his sleep cycle, and drawing a line in front of his beak, which can hypnotize him for up to an hour.
We beg the public’s patience as we heroically deal with this situation as we struggle to maintain order until — one way or the other — this cuckoo flies the coop.
Inset photo: Ursula, by BruceTurner, licensed under CC BY 2.0
I just cracked up at the inset picture and its hovertext. How am I supposed to explain this to my boss?
Love IT!
*applause* *applause* *applause*!!!
A soft Coop d’état?! Unacceptable!!
I was afraid it was gonna be some kind of chicken cultlet.
Close, Chicken Kiev.
Nice one.
*snert!* ?
That’s like Chicken Marsala but made with vodka, right? Tried it but left a bad taste in my mouth.
More like chicken Cordon Bleu: rather than cheese and ham, the fillet is rolled around cold butter instead.
For some reason I remember eating that at college cafeteria a lot, but haven’t seen it served in regular restaurant outside.
My work cafeteria does Chicken Cordon Bleu…but now that you mention it, it’s also the only place I ever see it.
I like my eggs soft. Does that count.
I like mine scrambled, like Insane Chicken Man’s brains, apparently.
Let’s hear it for the chicken tenders!
Beautifully done, NOMTOM. I started cackling as I read.
But do they have to swipe chicken recipes off his desk and hope he won’t notice?
I heard that Bob Barnyard just wrote a book on the goings-on at the egg farm.
Yes, it’s an eggs-traordinary piece of investigative journalism.
😛
You’d of thought, the name “Insane Chicken Man” would’ve been the tip off.
I heard that Insane Chicken Man had a fling with an exotic naked breed chick called Windy La Poulette – an exotic dancer who wraps herself in fluffy feathers and slowly drops them in the breeze from a wind machine.
A chicken strip-per?
Kudos!!!
…and now she’s singing like a canary!
According to the Barnyard Eggquirer some of those eggs got fertilized.
*chokesnort* Made me choke/snort in my coffee. ?
At your service!
Hilariously enough the owner of said Barnyard Eggquirer in real life is named “Pecker”. You can’t make this up.
“Yes — it’s an eggs-traordinary piece of investigative journalism.” — I hear Vincent Price’s voice as Egghead in the old “Batman” TV series.
The Chicken In Chief is ranting about Eggs Benedict Arnold now.
Ha!
He doesn’t like his eggs over-treasony, that’s for sure.
Yep. Anyone who does not drop to his/her knees and worships The Chicken in Chief, joins automatically the Eggs Benedict Arnold Club. Cluck! Cluck!
And it seems Eggs Anonymous served NYT Style didn’t go down well either. But that’s just my Op Ed take on current events.
Yes, many are calling it the work of a self-serving chicken.
Customer: I’ll have the chicken. Waiter: Serve yourself.
Oh and one last question… don’tcha think any lie detector that gets one inch inside of the Chicken Coop is going to immediately self destruct in its own carrying case?
Seems counterintuitive to me!
Yes, Faye, you are right, like dropping some matter in a tub of antimatter…
Blammo.
Or it could just fail to work on some people.
Soooo appropriately frightening.
This post might rival “help for sprinkles sufferers” in most up votes.
That post has 197 upvotes, so that’s the number to beat. This post would need more than 121 upvotes just to get on the Hall of Fame list.
I wonder if any of the chickens are thinking “Looks totally legit to me. Let him in the coop!”
9 Down Votes?!?!? Hmmm.
To those Down Voters: So sorry you are not able to enjoy good, humorous and well-directed barbs that help us, the bewildered and concerned citizens, to cope with these tough times. Perhaps you will be more comfortable visiting a strictly alt-news and/or alt-reality site, where you are sure to find think-alike friends.
I the meantime, please do meditate on one important fact: you are FREE to register your Down Vote on this site – while I doubt that any of us on these pages would be able to do the same on said alt-news and alt-reality sites.