Introduced by WQTE horror host Flurnston Boils
Good to see you again, fear fans. I wouldn’t be sticking my neck out to predict tonight’s tale will send chills all the way up your spine. It’s a psychological thriller I call… Stretch of the Imagination.
Frantically, Louise scrolled through the vast medical dictionary. Strange maladies and their treatments blurred past her eyes as she searched for the name of her nameless dread. At last, she found it: Camelopardophobia — the fear of being watched by a giraffe.
A wave of relief washed over her. Then there might be a treatment, a therapy, that could help her cope. So great was her euphoria that she didn’t hear her mistress breeze through the door after a day of shopping. “Lou-eee-eeze,” she trilled, “you won’t believe what I bought you for half off at the Toys ‘R’ Us liquidation sale!”
Photo of Mrs. Hattie Perkins and the looming giraffe of doom, Zarafa, from sender-inner JEC. (Flurnston photo: Marcello il mostro, by akk_rus, licensed under CC BY 2.0)
Flurnston Boils is my kind of horror host. And Mrs Hattie Perkins is a very pretty kitty. Zarafa seems a little challenged in the scary-factor to me. But then, I have a Steiff giraffe almost as tall as I am. No cameleopardophobia here.
Welcome back Flurnston! I was hoping we’d see you again. And Geez Louise! That is a fabulous picture with a genius Mike story.
I couldn’t even begin to imagine where Mike was going with that story! I do believe he’s yet again outdone himself. 🙂
And BTW, what would you call the “fear of being watched by a camel”??
Giraffeleopardophobia.
Ha ha yes! 🤣
Glad to see you haven’t lost your sense of humor, Duckie! Feeling better?
A bit.
I saw a Toys R Us/Kids R Us truck on my way to work today. It was kind of faded. I had a sad.
My cousin’s daughter has a giant stuffed giraffe. His name is Herman.
The Toys R Us didn’t close in Canada, seems they were not own by the same owner but we loss Sears and recently Payless Shoes.
The part that really chafes my gibblies is that while Sears was managed into the ground, Toys R Us was totally viable and just got eaten alive by vulture capitalists who noticed its assets were worth more than its stock valuation. They bought it out with a loan secured with the company’s own assets. I know this isn’t the site for it but late stage capitalism is turning me into a crazy person.
I was no fan of Toys R Us; as a big-box chain store, they killed many a much more interesting independent toy store in NYC, including the original FAO Schwarz (which thankfully has made a comeback of sorts). But so many mom-and-pops were destroyed and won’t come back.
I see the & amp after Ricky’s was a mistake. I like keeping Ricky’s and just adding Bibi’s to Mom. I still sign my holiday cards to the person I lived with when Minkette and Wacket were alive with my name and theirs.
And the government late stage capitalism has done so much to bring us!
Infinite growth for aggressive profit turns me into a crazy person. Pardon me…crazier.
Feels like only yesterday when we were railing against “category killers” like Barnes & Nobles for putting local mom and pop shops out of business. Now Amazon has pushed both BN and Toys R Us out of business.
If they redo “You Got Mail” today, I wonder how they’d spin all of this into a happy story this time… wait, what am I saying! Jeff Bezos is newly single, so long as the owner of soon out-of-business Toys R Us get together with him, it’ll make everything okay!
B&N’s not dead yet!
Sorry I was thinking of Borders:
That picture is sad and hilarious at the same time.
That is so, so, good. Once Jeff Bezos destroys all of retail that is not Amazon, I wonder what his demands will be. “So, you want to buy something…?
More! More! Don’t end the story there!
Fun fact: there was actually a “historical” giraffe named Zarafa. I own a book about him/her by that title but don’t think I ever read it.
Zarafa: A Giraffe’s True Story, from Deep in Africa to the Heart of Paris, by Michael Allin! An excellent book indeed, and the historical Zarafa is the one for whom MY Zarafa is named. Nice catch, DEBG.
Great story Mike, strait and to the point with a satisfying ending and a cute one to boot!
I don’t like stories that don’t have a satisfying ending, like the bad guy gets killed but he comes back to life during the end credits. In French we call that “finir en queue de poisson”.
Love a good mystery. And we are left to wonder…is Louise down to 8 lives or did she seek therapy in time to suffer just mild angst???
I’m sorry, but if I saw THAT giraffe behind me, I wouldn’t need a phobia to be afraid of it. Those ears render it a little startling.
At last I have an avatar which expresses my response to Mike’s inspired scroll-downs!
LOL
Is that you Alice? Great photo! 🙂
Yes, that’s me in all my astonished glory.
Those ears?
No, those EYES. Freakiest I’ve ever seen on an inanimate object, and that includes that crazy Lucille Ball one.
The mere mention of Flurnston Boils’ name makes me very happy.