Introduced as usual by Flurnston Boils
Welcome back, fright fans! In our first tale of terror we meet a fussy customer who’s about to have a bone to pick with her hairdresser. It’s a cutting-edge story I like to call A Little Off the Top:
Mimsy Mufflefluff was a glamorous cat, vain and proud. She was covered head to tail in long flowing white fur that she groomed constantly. So when her husband Tom casually remarked “Looks like your fur’s a bit uneven on one side, dear” she rushed herself to the nearest salon.
“Just even it out,” she demanded, and the hairdresser set to work. He was a strange lanky man, with spindly fingers and an eye that kept twitching, but he worked quickly and presented her with a mirror. “Oh, no!” she gasped, “you took off too much and now the other side’s too long. Fix it!” And all that afternoon and into the evening, the hairdresser tried to satisfy her demands, until…
“Oh, Thomas,” cooed Mimsy later that night. “Come and see! Am I perfect now?”
Cutting my own hair since Covid, I have been there…unfortunately.
“Your left femur’s a little longer than the other; let me nibble on it a bit. Nope, now the right one’s longer.”
Mike, I haven’t laughed till I cried in weeks. Thank you.
I’m sure Tom thinks she looks fabulous no matter what.
I just hope that her next question isn’t the dreaded:
Do I look fat to you?
No kidding!!!
Flurnston Boils is back! He has been missed
Flurnston Boils (or his scriptwriter?) is a talented horror fiction writer.
I adore Uncle Flurnstone! So glad the nephew didn’t try any shenanigans this year. Mimsy must subscribe to the theory you can never be too rich … or too thin.
I cannot tell you the amount of joy I felt when I read “Flurnston Boils” — he is a Halloween tradition to be treasured!
Aaaaaagggghhhhhh! EPIC scrolldown!
Thank you, Mr. F Boils! I always love this space. Btw, anybody here watch ‘What We Do In the Shadows’? Good times, aannd filmed here/ near my old previous ‘haunts’.