Goodnight, my puppy. I just want you to know what an honor it is to be your favorite toy. Ever after all those times you drooled on me, and shook me back and forth until I thought I was going to pass out, and tore out my stuffing so Mom had to sew me back together again, I still love you.
It’s good to have affectionate toys.
Awwwwww…*sneef*
Can I boop? I’ll be quiet.