Don’t get me wrong, I love my humans. But I also love my alone time, and they keep scritching me on the head when I’m trying to sleep. So I got a new bed and they got the message.
Paws in Jaws
Funny
More funny than cute
Tongue Sandwich
Cutetropolis is brought to you today by the makers of Big Loaf Bread™, the only bread that snores. Every Big Loaf has our exclusive Freshness Tongue — when it’s pink, it’s peak!
Just a salad for me, Andrew Y.
Is It Me? Is… It… Me?
(Sure, mom says that I’m the goodest girl in the whole wide world, but how does she actually know? Did she look me up in some sort of global goodness index? Was there a fact-finding trip I’m not aware of?)
Super-secret Spy Stuff
Enemy agents are watching, so I must be brief. At exactly 3:33 tomorrow, you will approach our operative under the Eiffel Tower and attempt to tell a knock-knock joke. He will furnish you with a forged passport and one-way ticket. Once off the train, proceed to the nearest cafe and order a “gooseberry muffin, hold the poppy seeds.” You will be given a plain box containing an orb. You must bring this to the leader of the resistance, a man known only as The Tongue.
