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“So is this flying? Are we flying yet? You gonna eat your pretzels? My favorite toy is a stuffed monkey but they wouldn’t let me bring it because it’s big. Wanna play fetch? You gonna eat your pretzels? If I run from the front to the back will I be moving?”
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April 3, 1983 — After a contentious internal debate, judges for the Guinness Book of World Records decline to certify a record set by Snowball McPoofybottom for “Smallest Box Sat In.”
Guess the judges didn’t (wait for it) think outside the box, Murray C.
“Naw, we don’t sell Slurpees here, that’s the place across the street. Unless you’re referring to when I jump over the counter and start slurping your face, which is free with every fill-up of eight gallons or more.”
