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If They Fits, I Sits

Not That Mike The Other Mike15 Comments

If they interlock, I sit and block. If they’re jigsaw-cut, I rest my butt. If they interconnect, I sit and reflect. If they form a nice scene, I remain here serene. If they come in pieces, my stay never ceases. If they’re not put together, I stay here forever.

Cat with dark striped fur sits in a box containing jigsaw puzzle pieces.
Look, just be grateful I’m not using this as a cat box.

"You didn't really need this box anymore, now did you Human?", by andymiccone, CC0 1.0 Universal (CC0 1.0)

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How to Be a Supervillain, Lesson 12: Perfecting Your Evil Laugh

Not That Mike The Other Mike8 Comments

Surprising as it may sound, the evil laugh can often be the most disarming tool in the evil villain’s arsenal. It can inspire minions to fanatical levels of devotion and also demoralize handsome enemy agents so that they accept the futility of their feeble attempts to thwart your plans. The proper evil laugh has many parts:

  • Laugh: Begin with an innocent chuckle, as if savoring a private joke. As the inevitability of victory becomes clear to you, build into a maniacal cackle.
  • Pose: During the cackle, lift the head up and gaze into the skies, as if challenging the very gods above. Avoid eye contact with insignificant mortals near you.
  • Lighting: An eerie glow from beneath will make you appear more terrifying. Possible sources: Flashlight, table lamp, nuclear reactor.
  • Special Effects: If you can manage to shoot lightning bolts from your cheeks and eyebrows, do it. Nobody will mess with you at that point, guaranteed.
kitten with light orange fur opens its mouth as if laughing maniacally
“Once my satellite unleashes the Hypno-Ray, the world’s tuna supply… WILL BE MINE! BWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH!”

cute kitty, by daniellekellogg, licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

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Hairless Haircuts

Not That Mike The Other Mike4 Comments

Lady and McGruff are two petite pups who’ve already been through some things in their lives, so their visit to The Girl With the Dogs is easy peasy. (Via Cutetropolis reader Allein)

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