April 3, 1983 — After a contentious internal debate, judges for the Guinness Book of World Records decline to certify a record set by Snowball McPoofybottom for “Smallest Box Sat In.”
Guess the judges didn’t (wait for it) think outside the box, Murray C.
Cuddle Buddies / YouTube, via A9
Cole & Marmalade, via NTMTOM
“Naw, we don’t sell Slurpees here, that’s the place across the street. Unless you’re referring to when I jump over the counter and start slurping your face, which is free with every fill-up of eight gallons or more.”
Oh, you thought you were getting a cute little kitten? Have I got some news for you, pal. I’m going to grow as big as a dog, demand to be fed every fifteen minutes and insist on climbing on your lap whenever you’re trying to use your phone.
