The Harrowing Headless Horror!

While I’m on vacation, please enjoy this repeat of a top-upvoted post. Keep sending cute links to submissions@cutetropolis.com! — Mike

Introduced as usual by Flurnston Boils, who owes some people money

I find the entertainment at most children’s parties to be rather tedious, but this party clown will make you laugh your head off, in an terrifying tale titled… Terror is Served.


“What do you mean, you forgot?” shrieked Mrs. Wawa at her sheepish husband. It was the day of little Willie Wawa’s fifth birthday, and his parents were in a panic. “We’ve invited all his friends for a lavish party, and you forgot to call the caterers, put up the decorations, and hire the entertainment?! How will we get that done by tonight?”

As if to answer her frantic question, the doorbell rang. “Greetings, my name is Egghead McGee,” said the strange little man when they opened the door. “I am an itinerant jack-of-all-trades — clown, cook, and balloon artist extraordinaire — and I happened upon your lovely home in hopes you might have need of my services.”

Scarcely believing his luck, and having not read ahead to the end of this story, Mr. Wawa hired him and set him to work. Mrs. Wawa had her doubts, but when the party began, the strange little clown proved his worth. The guests laughed at his delightful antics, and his seemingly inexhaustible supply of streamers and balloons transformed the backyard into a festive funhouse.

“Now, while you pin the tail on the donkey, I will see to dinner.” And with that, he disappeared into the kitchen. The Wawas let out a sigh of relief. The day had been saved and everyone was happy, especially their beloved son… wait, where had Willie gone?

“I hope you’re all hungry!” said a voice from behind them.

And when they turned around, they saw…

You already voted!

Tall Tales of Towering Terror!

While I’m on vacation, please enjoy this repeat of a top-upvoted post. Keep sending cute links to submissions@cutetropolis.com! — Mike

Introduced by WQTE horror host Flurnston Boils

Good to see you again, fear fans. I wouldn’t be sticking my neck out to predict tonight’s tale will send chills all the way up your spine. It’s a psychological thriller I call… Stretch of the Imagination.


Frantically, Louise scrolled through the vast medical dictionary. Strange maladies and their treatments blurred past her eyes as she searched for the name of her nameless dread. At last, she found it: Kamilopardaliphobia — the fear of being watched by a giraffe.

A wave of relief washed over her. Then there might be a treatment, a therapy, that could help her cope. So great was her euphoria that she didn’t hear her mistress breeze through the door after a day of shopping. “Lou-eee-eeze,” she trilled, “you won’t believe what I bought you for half off at the Toys ‘R’ Us liquidation sale!”

(Hello, Louise…)

Photo of Mrs. Hattie Perkins and the looming giraffe of doom, Zarafa, from sender-inner JEC. (Flurnston photo: Marcello il mostro, by akk_rus, licensed under CC BY 2.0)

You already voted!

Links: Halloween Edition

With your ghostly guest linkmaster, former WQTE late-night horror host Flurnston Boils

So your usual talentless hack is on vacation, eh? That means the blog is mine — MINE! — to torment you with some classic tales from my moldy crypt of horror. But first I’ll rattle your chains with these spooky links:

And fatally: Here’s Your Treat

(Flurnston photo: Marcello il mostro, by akk_rus, licensed under CC BY 2.0)

You already voted!

Hair-Raising Tales of the Macabre!

Introduced as usual by Flurnston Boils
Welcome back, fright fans! In our first tale of terror we meet a fussy customer who’s about to have a bone to pick with her hairdresser. It’s a cutting-edge story I like to call A Little Off the Top:

Mimsy Mufflefluff was a glamorous cat, vain and proud. She was covered head to tail in long flowing white fur that she groomed constantly. So when her husband Tom casually remarked “Looks like your fur’s a bit uneven on one side, dear” she rushed herself to the nearest salon.

“Just even it out,” she demanded, and the hairdresser set to work. He was a strange lanky man, with spindly fingers and an eye that kept twitching, but he worked quickly and presented her with a mirror. “Oh, no!” she gasped, “you took off too much and now the other side’s too long. Fix it!” And all that afternoon and into the evening, the hairdresser tried to satisfy her demands, until…

“Oh, Thomas,” cooed Mimsy later that night. “Come and see! Am I perfect now?”

cat looks at prop cat skeleton
Actually, I think your left front femur’s a bit longer than the others…
You already voted!