We have been receiving reports of random gravitational anomalies. Rest assured that our technicians are investigating and hope to have normal gravity restored for your continued comfort and survival. We apologize for this situation and any inconvenience that may be caused by these slight irregularities.
via Dana D.
mind blown
Doggo: “This simulation we live in, is broken.”
Do you ever feel like everything’s just gone sideways?
In the future I expect to be notified of such Cute Emergencies immediately via the new Presidential Alert System.
LOL! I just got my alert in a room with other people and all the phones started beeping at once.
I was at the library. The automatic shushing system was activated…
I was at work and the whole cube farm errupted. There was a meeting going on in the conference room IMMEDIATELY NEXT TO MY DESK and their productivity was basically destroyed.
The LP manager at work sent out a reminder about that test this morning, I guess so when everyone’s phones started beeping we wouldn’t freak out.
I only want cuteness alerts if they include pictures.
Awwlert = the BEST kind of alerts.
You win.
I was trying to come with a good name and just couldn’t.
Coming from the undisputed champion of cute puns, this is a special honor 🙂 I shall duly note it in my new Cutetropolis calendar.
I dunno, I think Mike has me beat, at least.
It’s the same old national alert system we had before. What idiot decided it was presidential? (Don’t answer that.)
I LOVE the Memos from Planetary Maintenance. We could actually really use a Department of Planetary Maintenance.
Amen.
Me too!! As long as they don’t decide to build a hyperspace bypass through my house.
It would be nice to have a tag for Planetary Maintenance to make keeping up with all the memos easier.
Done! Thanks for the idea!
https://cutetropolis.com/tag/memo-from-planetary-maintenance/
I’m noticing most of the planetary maintenance issues are gravitational in nature…
Ok, Your Honor, it’s a crazy theory, but hear me out:
I know it looks EXACTLY like a dog, but what if it’s not a dog, but really some kind of albino mountain goat? Only by accepting that, does rest of this reality we live in makes any sense. I submit to you defense’s only exhibit:
Ok so the tree is upright in the position it would be if the goats were really , um, glued in some mysterious manner to the side of a cliff? I mean it’s OK with me but….
They’re Spidermangoats, obviously.
???
Spider-goat! Spider-goat!
Does whatever a spider-goat does!
Can he swing, from a web?
No, he can’t. He is a goat.
🙂 !!!
This is such a remarkable image I tried to find a source — was it Photoshopped, and if not, what is going on? Apparently that is not a natural rock face (and if you look at it, it IS awfully regular), it’s the face of a concrete dam in Italy. Minerals leach out the face of the dam, and the goats — Alpine ibex — are after the minerals. It’s a vertical salt lick, more or less, apparently. And it’s for real. Go here https://www.popsci.com/new-documentary-takes-us-inside-colorful-dynamic-worlds#page-5 and scroll down to Picture 4 for a similar image with better context of the surroundings. Then try Google Image Search for Alpine ibex Cingino Dam, or maybe this link will work https://www.google.com/search?q=Alpine+ibex+Cingino+Dam&client=firefox-b-1-ab&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjShfaB3OvdAhUFheAKHd9pDxAQ_AUIDigB&biw=1316&bih=757
Mind blown. That a dam leaches minerals, that the goats want the minerals so badly they are willing to make that climb, and that they can do it. I’m sure the humans who built the dam thought they were making it with a smooth face. There’s smooth to humans, and then there’s what constitutes a hoof-hold for an ibex.
Also, apparently male ibex have HUGE horns, so the goats in the photos (with smaller horns) may all be females? I am woman, watch me climb.
Yeah they’re just incredible.
More salt-licking insanity: https://www.boredpanda.com/crazy-mountain-goats/
And in case any of us wonder if they ever take a faster way down:
YIKES!!!
I see. It would be hard going down a cliff face that is straight up and down, but springing back and forth between two straight-up sheer cliff faces makes it MUCH easier. I will keep that in mind if i hike in the mountains. Superman has nothing on these goats. I really wish scientists would study them because their, I guess, hoof eye coordination is supernatural.
Ok. I actually watched this with my mouth open. And no food was involved.
That careening must feel awesome.
These are superpowers
I’m actually still not sure I’ve got this tracked down. Oh, there definitely is a Cingino dam and Alpine ibex definitely do climb up its face to lick minerals. Here’s as good a panoramic pic as I’ve found
But the dam face is clearly masonry (an odd choice — is it facing over concrete or is the dam actually made of stone and mortar?), which makes the climbing a LITTLE easier to believe — the mortar joints are not entirely smooth, so they give a hoof-hold. But in the original photo — where the climbing surface is shown at a low angle so it’s hard to see — that really does look like concrete or a continuous rock face. I don’t see any joints. I’m not sure I’ve found the right goats yet. Look at this photo, for instance 
our original photo on the left, what’s clearly the Cingino dam on the right, but NOT clearly both of the same place. Google Image Search finds a zillion copies of the original photo, but I can’t trace any of them back to an article I know is legit. So, I may have to apologize for suggesting the original photo was AT the Cingino dam and thus legit. We certainly have plenty of proof goats CAN do things like that; it’s PROBABLY a legit photo. I don’t think I’ve demonstrated that it is.
I wish the Senate Judiciary Committee would hire you to investigate – we’d all be better off.
I second that motion.
Slartibartfast !!! Quit screw around with the Fjords, and fix the bloody Gravity !!