Greetings, humble homeowner! It is I, Princess Petunia Pittiepants, ruler of the garden fairies and protector of plants! None shall be nasty to your nasturtiums or get creepy with your creepers!

More cute than funny
Greetings, humble homeowner! It is I, Princess Petunia Pittiepants, ruler of the garden fairies and protector of plants! None shall be nasty to your nasturtiums or get creepy with your creepers!
Of all the works in this museum, one above all captivated my soul. Its deceptively simplistic composition — rectangles of steel and glass revealing tightly undulating curves — spoke to our constant yearning to break free of society’s constraints and serve our true purpose. At least that’s what I thought until someone explained I’d been looking at a fire hose.
Artistically submitted by Andrew Y.
Most of the time, I don’t like pushy people, but I seem to be in need of one at the moment.
Are you aware that October is Squirrel Awareness Month? No? Maybe we need a Squirrel Awareness Month Awareness Month. Anyway, enjoy some squirrels. (thanks to reader A9.)