While resting peacefully at the foot of Marge Blamphel’s recliner, Marge’s cat Snowball is accidentally sent flying when she sits down. Jolted but uninjured, Snowball is inspired to create a projectile launcher he calls the humanapult.
Via Andrew Y.
Let’s get something straight, human. I’m a cat, not a kitten. I’m not your “gubboi,” I’m not your “puddin’ pie,” and I’m definitely not your “fluffy wuffy poofy woofy widdle cuddle pants,” and if I ever hear those phrases cross your lips you’ll be my “scratchy watchy bitey witey corpsey worpsey.”
Via Reddit.
“All right, we’re in. You two take your positions. Blackie, cover the front door and cross his path as he heads outside. Midnight, patrol the south windows in case he tries to sneak out. I’ll stay in the kitchen and guard the back door. And remember, The Bad Luck Squad leaves no path uncrossed.”
I’ll be hiding under the bed, Andrew Y.
I gotta say, when I first got adopted, I was scared to death. You see, my new family has these huge dogs with massive jaws, and I was just this one outnumbered kitten. But they seemed to like me right away and shared their food with me so I would grow up big. They loved to watch me eat. And today was the best day because they made me a full member of the tribe and they were going to have me for dinner over at their place!
