Careful What You Fish For

With your host, Leighton “Lance” Boils
Are you all sitting comfortably? Of course not; it’s cold, we’re in the forest, and I didn’t bring enough camp chairs. Anyway, here’s a story about a sucker who learns that getting what you want isn’t all it’s cracked up to be:


Avery was a hungry cat. He was also a finicky cat. He ate his kibble dutifully and without enthusiasm, for what he truly craved was the taste of seafood: salmon poached to perfection; the comforting taste of a tuna sandwich. Alas, his unkind masters never shared of their table.

One day in the woods, as he dangled his paw in a nearby pond and daydreamed of broiled halibut, a glint of gold brushed past his arm — a fish, like none he had ever seen. With one greedy swipe, he knocked it from the water, and was about to devour it when it pleaded “Please spare me, and I will grant your one fondest wish!”

Avery knew at once what he wanted: seafood. But what kind? Charbroiled swordfish steaks on a bed of wild rice? Shrimp scampi with fettuccine in garlic lemon sauce? It was his one wish and it had to be just right.

Then it came to him: A vision of rugged fishermen hauling traps from the ocean, of exotic crustaceans and melted butter, the satisfying k-k-krack of the shell. “I want,” he announced as he tossed them fish back into the water, “for you to make me a big fat boiled lobster.”

“Whatever you say, boss,” said the fish with an impish grin.

cat in lobster costume
I guess I could have phrased that better… (Instagram)
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9 thoughts on “Careful What You Fish For

  1. allein October 30, 2020 / 10:42 am

    Don’t eat the fuzzy lobster…

  2. Faye October 30, 2020 / 10:44 am

    I’ll bring the melted butter.

  3. Squiddy October 30, 2020 / 10:48 am

    I read this aloud to my two kitties, and they were TERRIFIED.

  4. Kar October 30, 2020 / 11:24 am

    Well, now I want shrimp scampi for dinner.

    Payoff was definitely worth the build up. That expression…

  5. Tara October 30, 2020 / 11:56 am

    Oh boy… that face! Great Story.

  6. Debg October 30, 2020 / 12:10 pm

    Mike, you make every day better for me. Hilarious story and epic photo.

  7. dubravkamcvmd October 30, 2020 / 12:31 pm

    I wish Rembrandt could have painted a portrait. That face, that expression, those claws,that hat!

  8. AJ October 30, 2020 / 1:24 pm

    Lance is doing his Uncle proud with his introductions. And that is one not very happy cat. Serves him right. Don’t ya know you have to be very careful and very specific when making wishes/requests. And since Faye is bringing the butter, I’ll bring the lemons.

    • Ricky & Bibi's Mom October 30, 2020 / 8:06 pm

      I’ll bring the Green Goddess dressing/sauce.

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