Marge sat nervously still as the officer approached her window. “Sorry to bother you, ma’am,” he said, “but there’s been reports of puppy smugglers in this area. You ain’t seen anything suspicious, have you?”

“Mom! Mom! I just discovered this thing in the kitchen that’s full of food scraps! Soup bones, barbeque sauce, bits of fruit — it’s like I hit the jackpot!”