You’re not going to go really fast in this thing, are you? Or downhill? Or over bumpy rocks? Or pop any wheelies? Or drive up a ramp, over a row of buses and through a ring of fire?

Look, this is going to be a long flight, so let’s come to an agreement here. If you promise to stop kicking my seat, I promise not to sniff your pockets and bark excitedly when we go past security.