It’s bad enough that raccoons wear masks like cartoon burglars and ransack your trash and make a big mess, but when they stick out their tongues at you, that’s the part that really hurts.

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In tonight’s main event, the Marmalade Mauler takes on the Tuxedoed Terror in a no-holds-barred battle!

The other kids say they have monsters under their beds. How come I don’t get monsters? I’ve always wanted to meet one, maybe with three heads or giant eyeballs. That would be awesome!

Lookit, we dug a snow cave! And it’s gonna be our super-secret clubhouse and only the cool kids can come in and we’re gonna have snacks and tell ghost stories!

Polar Bear Cubs, by USFWS Headquarters, licensed under CC BY 2.0