Um, You’re In My Spot

While you relax, all unawares
There lurks nearby the Thief of Chairs!
When you visit the bathroom, kitchen, you name it
This fiend slithers into your chair just to claim it

a cat lies on an armchair and looks sleepily back
What! I’ve been here all along!

And when you return to your seat, snack in hand
You discover your rest won’t be going as planned
You’ve been displaced in that moment’s vacation
Now you must settle on some lesser location

A cat curls up on some cushions on a sofa.
Heh-heh, you mad, bro?

And you may stand there and declare “It’s not fair!”
“This here is my house! That there is my chair!”
No matter how you may swear, stare or glare
The Chair Thief don’t care, he ain’t going nowhere
So off you repair to a deck chair somewhere
And declare “I forswear! It’s your chair, Teddy Bear”

a cat rests on a pillow in a camping chair and looks up at you.
Well, I’m glad that’s settled.
You already voted!

Shakesbear in the Park

O goddess of fate, how cruel and vain
Thou art, to see my hunger plain
Yet lend no aid, withhold thy favor
Deny my lips that which I savor
Shall I persist this vain endeavor
Or still my tongue and starve forever?
No! Firm I stand, and thus I ask it
Gift unto me a pic-a-nic basket!

A black bear stands on its back legs raising one paw and looking to the heavens, as if reciting a dramatic monologue.
Hath not a bear eyes? Doth not a bear go number two in the woods? (Reddit)
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Hug Your Hippo

When your squeaky toy won’t squeak
When you’ve been stuck inside all week
When the big dog barks and growls
To interrupt your nightly prowls
Your food is bland, your kibble stale
The baby always pulls your tail
Whenever life gets harsh and rough
Just hug your hippo; that’s enough

A sleeping kitten lies on a carpeted floor holding on to a stuffed hippo toy
What would I do without you?

From Imgur: “I rescued Stanley and his hippo today. The shelter said they were a package deal.”

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