276, to be exact. Yes, I counted them all.

In 1972, scientists at Extremely Important University discovered a sentence that when spoken aloud could induce unbearable levels of bliss in dogs. Containing the words “treat,” “walk,” “out,” “steak,” “car,” “xylophone,” and “squirrel,” the sentence is so overpowering that its only copy has been locked in a steel vault and all involved have been sworn to secrecy.

Look, when a simple gust of wind can send you flying across the beach, you learn to keep low to the ground.